Harvesting Love | Jungle of Life

My wed?ding anniver?sary was last?week.

10 years ago I said I?d never get married.

I also said I?d never have?kids.

Now I?m mar?ried with kids and it?s the most bril?liant ride I?ve been on thus?far.

And, any?one with a spouse and two kids under 2.5 knows, it?s a lot. I mean, a lot. Life has turned up the heat and I?m ripen?ing in the most help?ful of?ways.

The more I resist the heat, the more painful my life is. The more I sur?ren?der to the heat and what is occur?ring, the more I enjoy the?ride.

The Fall Equinox just hap?pened and this past week?end was my wed?ding anniversary.

The Autum?nal equinox is a time of tran?si?tion where light and dark are bal?anced. Dark?ness is now slowly over?tak?ing the light as we move toward winter.

The equinox always asks me to pay close atten?tion to my life. It is a won?der?ful time to focus on bal?ance and to reap what I?ve sewn from the summer.

What am I har?vest?ing right?now?

And since I?m all about love these days, what am I har?vest?ing rela?tion?ally. How are my inti?mate relationships?

My rela?tion?ships help me see how much joy or pain I am expe?ri?enc?ing in life.?By using other peo?ple, mainly my wife and kids, I can begin to see where I am open?ing and clos?ing down to?love.

If I want to expe?ri?ence more love, I eval?u?ate my relationships.

Four years ago my wife and I mar?ried our?selves in the Utah desert. This past Sun?day we had our baby sit?ter watch our kids while we walked to the park hand in hand (This kind of date is a rare moment for us sleep-deprived new parents).

Our inten?tion was to review and update our wed?ding vows. ?To ?check in? with where we are as a partnership.

So, under the shade of a giant maple tree we pulled out our jour?nals from that time and took turns read?ing our vows and commitments.

We gazed at each other as we read each one and reflected upon it. As our eyes met, they welled with tears of love and grat?i?tude. The depth of our con?nec?tion was right there, puls?ing and vibrant.

We noticed how true each vow still was and how ?on? we were with each back then. Each vow was a bold, yet vul?ner?a?ble state?ment about con?nec?tion to self and other. ?We didn?t add any new ones as our orig?i?nal vows are still hit?ting the?mark.

My heart kept open?ing wide as I gazed into her eyes. I felt so awake and clear.?I felt my deep love for her and we smiled and cried. ?We laughed at the insan?ity of rais?ing two amaz?ing kids and the relent?less?ness of our?lives.

A sim?ple yet pro?found con?nec?tion in a short win?dow of?time.

We walked back home to baths and bed?time sto?ries with our children.

So ask your?self, how can I har?vest more love using my close rela?tion?ships?

Here are a few?ideas?

1. Take inven?tory of your clos?est rela?tion?ships. Reflect on ?what is so? about each one. Notice which are nour?ish?ing and which are deplet?ing.
   ?
2. Make a list of peo?ple who you want to move closer to (friends, fam?ily, co-workers etc)
   ?
3. Now pick only one.
   ?
4. Ask your?self if you want more close?ness and con?nec?tion to this per?son. If yes, move on to step 5.
   ?
5. Do a rela?tion?ship review with these friends. This can help you deter?mine what?s been in the way and if the other per?son also wants to move closer. Are they a per?son that is worth the poten?tial invest?ment? Prac?tice hon?est truth telling and trust they can take care of them?selves. You don?t need to pro?tect them from their feel?ings. If it?s your spouse, per?haps it can be a time to review your wed?ding vows or com?mit?ment to each other.
   ?
6. Notice if you are mak?ing your desire to move closer depen?dent on the other per?son chang?ing and instead, con?sider work?ing with the prac?tice of accep?tance. Check in with your real motives. Am I try?ing to change them so that I can feel less agi?tated? Or am I will?ing to stay on my side and work with what?ever my agi?ta?tion is about in me?
   ?
7. How was this process? Share your expe?ri?ence with each other. Let them know what it was like and what you learned about your?self.
   ?
8. Pick a new per?son and share this process with them as an exam?ple of how you want to move closer to them?too.

In a way, my wife and I are start?ing this autumn anew, freshly con?nected, and actively engaged in our part?ner?ship. We are har?vest?ing the love big?time.

I?m using my fam?ily to prac?tice accept?ing more and open?ing to more and more love. When I treat my rela?tion?ships as ?prac?tice? in this way, it takes me out of a vic?tim stance rela?tion?ally and into a place of aware?ness, choice, and strength.

Decide what you want to har?vest and with whom. Then, dive in and practice.

---

by Jayson Gad?dis

Jayson Gad?dis, MA, LPC, CGT is a rela?tion?ship psy?chother?a?pist devoted to help?ing peo?ple awaken through rela?tion?ship and inti?macy. He?s call?ing in a new par?a?digm of con?nec?tion, deep rela?tion?ship, and fam?ily. Jayson is a hus?band and part-time stay-at-home Dad get?ting schooled by his two?kids.

Jayson Gaddis

Source: http://www.jungleoflife.com/harvesting-love/

contagion contagion memory ducati demi moore asu cerebral palsy