It would be rude to ask your host to host the same shower for just a second person....does your friend even know your cousin?
Also, why is your cousin having a shower for her second child? Depending on the circumstances around that, she could be being pretty tacky, and your family might think that as well, and decide to go to yours in the end anyway...
Does your cousin even know what date your shower is? If she doesn't, and someone tells her that you are having yours the same day, she may want to change it anyway, thinking the same thing you are, that family members may not go to both, and she might want to go to yours as well. I would just see what she knows first and go from there.?
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