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Recently I had the chance to sit around with some lady friends and talk about sex, specifically in long-term relationships.? We came to the conclusion that it gets an undeservedly bad reputation from lots of places; magazines, TV and movies to name a few.? The mass media expectation seems to be if you have been in a relationship for more than a few years your sex life is likely over.? I had someone ask me not too long ago for a book or a movie that featured a married couple who had a hot sex life with each other.? I couldn?t think of any.
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So why does everyone assume our sex lives have a shelf life of 1 to 2 years per partner?? Why do we overlook the benefits a long term committed relationship can have on our sexual relationships?? Here are just a few of the examples of positive benefits my friends and I discussed.
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Trust.? When you have lived through some tough stuff with your partner, maybe had a kid or two, shared your bills, responsibilities, successes and failures you might tend to worry less about whether they still find you attractive now that you are a few years older.? You might feel more comfortable taking sexual risks and trying new things with a partner you trust to see you through the tough times.
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Experience.? There is a level to which people can be skilled lovers when they have years of experience with each other that is difficult for new partnerships to live up to.? Sure, you can have some natural talent for sexy skills but you won?t have the familiarity with the cues long term lovers easily take from each other?s reactions.
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Emotional depth.? It is true, a one night stand can be hot and exciting.? One night stands can happen between people who care about each other as well, but the emotional depth partners build through years of experience with each other is a powerful thing that can take sex to a different level of connection and meaning.
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Certainly, long term partners have their own struggles.? They have to fight against life stress to keep the passion for each other that seemed so forthcoming before they had so many shared responsibilities.? People change over the years and so do their sexual wants and needs.? Some people make great partners and struggle to be great lovers.? Passion is a slippery fish that can be tough to hold on to.? But amidst all the challenges many long term sexual partners develop some pretty incredible relationships and have some really great sex!
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I?d love to hear from people in sexy long term relationships.? Any words of wisdom?? Just want to tell us how great your partner is?? Leave a comment below!
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Photo from Getty, found on Family Goes Strong.
Laura Rad
Laura Rad has been educating herself and others about sexuality for over eight years. She co-hosts the Sex is Fun and Strong, Sexy & Stylish podcasts available for free on iTunes. Laura is also a sex and relationship therapist in Minneapolis, MN. Find more info about her work at www.edgewisetwincities.com.
Source: http://www.lolewomen.com/blog/2012/09/28/sex-and-the-long-term-relationship/
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